Here are about one hundred old odd pieces of prose and some poetry from circa 1986-1987 with a few of the later ones from somewhere between 1989 and 1993. Mostly the result of angst and youthful indiscretions. I doubt that any of them are very good, the better ones are probably in the last third, but here they are non-the-less.
1.
Walking mystery
Alone for days
No words to speak
Of things to say
Wandering mind
Still a mess
Lost in time
Of mindless stress
2.
you are the ones
those that know
how I wandered
upon
the(vastness
careful
hidden)
gentle know a lost way
however
they see I know
I see
smiling the air
a clouded sky
(woeful worried
talking)
amongst ourselves
3.
yes and;
all the holy men
were confused
4.
there are ten-thousand ways
and latent they are
well everyday
and then you think before
I miss
I’d better pick just one
5.
more holy men are around
each of us
we get a chance
to perform in
a shaman’s dance
6.
weekly doses of my mind
allow me to understand
that which I laugh
7.
laughter is evolution
and you say we need a revolution
around we go
then it stops
if only to start again
with renewed fervor
8.
who are the poets
are we children of a god
my art and trade
by all definitions is
succinct in it’s meaning
laughably so
it has no resistance
9.
others bold and haughty
do not understand
to not-resist, does not
mean to not take action, perhaps
how do you “sist” in the first place
like water you are, eighty percent anyway
solid, liquid, or gas and
maybe a plasma state
10.
in the desert is a song
hot days and bright sand
the reptiles like it out there
some people don’t go
and miss the sun
rising above the
canyon walls
11.
I panicked that day
but didn’t care
my mind, mind’s I to live
in fear
be brave I thought, have courage
to dare, and I have intelligence
I’ll make, I’m ahead
of the rest
well by at least
ten steps
12.
she gave me the finger
and I put it in a box
that now rests under my
bed, and sometimes
I get it out and wonder
why she didn’t just
shoot the bird
13.
ever subtle
I found a muse
in my head
she had beauty beyond compare
and I used to think and sometimes still do
“how did she get t(here)”
14.
I felt strange but
no more than usual oh, to b
e (w)hole, I f
ee
l s
osha
t
tere d.
15.
there was a certain fire in my mind
it made me think of days gone past
when I was young and dared dream
the impossible now in my old age I wonder
and gaze and still I dream the impossible
16.
I once saw a spotted horse
and it ran free as the wind
(like a dream I had once)
in the desert
17.
how could I know
how was it possible even
I hadn’t an inkling of what
she was talking about anyway
18.
her eyes pale they shone
happily she smiled
hair blowing in the wind
flaxen and blond
19.
earlier days I wondered not
and ships passed by in the night
now solid wall befuddle
my delight
20.
a loss of thought
how I dared dream
a dreamless dream
now am caught
21.
happily now in timeless seams
angelic hosts on quantum shores
a knowing not what it means
they danced to life with the whores
22.
your eyes they streamed of light
in my mind shear and bright
sculpted perfect out of clay
I still don’t know what to say
23.
her eyes were like
silver and precious
as life itself
he lifted her to
the sky and borne
of their joy was
a life as rare and
strange as any
24.
turned loose in a funhouse called life
I happened upon a woman bright
with strong mind and a fire inside
that shone in eternal delight
this goddess I thought who can she be
and how this one had become enamored with her
she spoke and laughed and in my mind I see her
this goddess everlastingly wild
I only a god among (man)y
but she the Goddess of all and of my desire I wish
to be embraced with her in timeless (de()li)fe(ght)
and yet the time has not come but still to hear
her voice and see her moving
or hear a lie bring unspeakable joy
25.
She filled the books
with Ancient glass
carried time along the passed
26.
Had I seen you but once
I was filled with joy
radiantly emanating
But I saw you twice
and a flash had come and gone
the beauty of life
The third time I saw you and I was lost
now I know the meaning of love
both whole and elemental
Again I saw you smile and
blissful love filled me
ecstatically playing
The time I saw you last
love I gave without constraint
a flowing brook
Now again you fill my mind
in love with you I find
the freedom to obey
27.
Visions of a past unlived in inversions
plastic realms of life
music taste great
slipping into a stoic flashback
runes in the doorways
light stick
wav(E)motions vibrations of
a reality where the only
thing not real is nothing
28. Haiku and Stuff
love for you appearing
eternal joy amusing
happy today
her smile
how it reminded me
of love
your body and
your soul the same
intending beauty
still beauty
understanding care
active love
delicate lips
soul of light
eyes speak
happily I joined in
clambering up and over
rocks on rocks
climbing upward
to sea the beach
I had a vision
of my mind
spiriting turning
out of time
dream the
dream that
dolphins dream
dream the
dream of dreams
dream the dreams’
dream
of love and life
of happiness and joy
hmm….we travelled most
expatriatly across the
northeast
29.
a mountain pool
clear as my mind
its depth the meaning
of life
the trees above
filled with power
energetic beings
of mind
the peyote woman
reflects me and my love
her aura mingles
with mine standing
in dance moving
like the sea
30.
astral dreams
wayward seams
pathways up ahead
don’t look back
you might be dead
your mind all black
glow with light
your inner might
stay in time
now is fine
happily rhyme
I wish you were mine
serenely smile
from a mile
I see you walk my way
the road instead
lit by light of day
31.
pounding waves
caress my thought
gentle curves
never forgot
you spoke gently
of the ways of man
and goddess happily
dreaming of a
brighter time
not yet lost
though somewhat
rare and needing
a joy to live
and courage drawn
nearer the source
of enlightening
a mind not one
or two the same
poetic flow
an inner motion
genuinely strong
with truth intended
for so long a(s)and
you walked
in a way I smiled
to say please don’t
go
32.
softening light
I fear not for
like you we are
eternal
33.
looking up reaching out
I cupped Polaris in my hand
and drew her close for warmth
34.
I
I am standing on the hard packed dirt
behind me I feel your presence
I turn to face you
and see your eyes
I move and stumble in uncertainty and fall within
and find myself aware and lost
I can see nothing for all is darkness
(in your eyes I wait)
suddenly there is a flash and
I see in an instant a dark land
torrents of rain pour (rain and lightning)
my inner fire sputters and spits
struggle to burn my desire
this land is harsh and exciting
beckoning exploration I see the
hills of this place (rough, sparse
with trees and black hollows)
in less than no-time I am aware
of your existence (there is truth
and beauty to this unfamiliar
land I am treading in) I know
I am searching for the greatest
treasure of what it is I am unsure
my eyes blaze, my hair is flame
my body light, my soul truth
inspired to find that which I am seeking
(travelling in this unfamiliar land)
II
under dark waters I give
my light freely
(listen: there are secrets here one
cannot know (I have seen)
no-one in this land and feel
safe) I know you are here
I run for days in this place
the tempest abates and in the
sky is a gray moon which
dimly reflected light (I can see)
however by the fire of my eyes
I am the wild one who sees
himself reflected in everything
and everything in himself
I come to a tree alone on the
plain and rest but do not sleep
I smell the air (pure, sharp and electric)
it cuts cold to my soul
but I have nothing to hide
a scream pierces the air
from above I see the eagle
she lands on a branch of this
tree I lay under
I look up and see her
eyes like a storm and understand
she spreads her wings and
screaming, flies, heading
toward the mountains of the distance
I leap up and follow running
across the plains never losing
sight of you
climbing higher and higher on
the plains there is no sound
and I run silently my eyes always
on you in the sky
III
I soon find myself in a mountainous
valley with the firmament turning slowly to
gray; (this is a land of autumn)
I glance around and roar
“where is my life?” from a rock
you call I grin and follow
the ground beneath my feet
you bring me to a precipice
I leap in and land below
this hole in the foundation
again in darkness
(is this the place of your profound
secret I wish to find)
I burn brightly beyond compare
but am still in darkness
there is more (and bound forward)
in the darkness finding no
barriers; my soul is truth
and you show me truths
(are these the enigmas) from within
(I do not know)
I grow weary as I race
me feet pain me yet
still I find inside me a
vigor to continue I am
mesmerized by your mystery
(which I have not known or seen
nor understand)
I come to your deepest part
and find the waters of life
without hesitation I dive in
so deeply I go
lungs straining to breathe
I see light dimly ahead
and swim toward it
IV
I burst from the water
gasping for the air (I climb
out) of the dark water
and you are there
your eyes pierce me to
my soul and find the flames
of many things burning their
truths; you fly off
toward the dark moon
but I cannot follow (I laugh)
and you look through me
again I spin and bound and
run wondering where the
enigmas you keep are
I thrust myself for weeks
through forest, across prairies,
over peaks in caves and on
nocturnal waters following the
darkling moon still I cannot
find the occult mystery
I am alone
V
I travel for a few days
more and find myself
in the juniper savanna of
dry steppes
I rest by the brook and
drink; I am sitting on the
ground when you arrive and you
sit across from me; dark hair
moving with the wind you smile
and look at me with your deep
eyes you reach out and touch
me and time halts (in a flash of energy)
I am in the depths of space
embraced by you entirely
my mind reels as I radiate
élan, a sun in the void;
harmoniously you share with me
your omniscience and
there is an infinite power
of existence in this place
where we see each other
to the very gravity of being
as we truly are
(and I ask “will you show me your
occult mysteries”) and I see you on the perimeter
for an instant I know them and
then forget and am by the brook
and juniper tree locked
into a gaze with you
“where is my mind?” I ask and
you smile knowingly “way out in
the water” I hear
I stand and turn toward the
sun and spread my arms
to greet, a tear
runs down my cheek and then
you take my hand and dry
my eye I hold you for a moment
and then leave you be free
as you fly to the sky I
run through the desert heat
smiling to know you;
and then at the end of terra
I am standing on the hard packed dirt
behind me I feel your presence
I turn to face you
and see your eyes
I move and leap and fall within
35.
blasted beyond all knowing the wayward energies
jumping across the void no-thing a filled
emptiness the reeling mind juxtapositions twist
scrawl out a continuum vast infinite points
at which there is (k)no(w) cognition and the
animals all scream with despairing rage
36.
Across the plains the Beastmen;
Came hair flying in the wind
And evermore through times of yore
Did the Beastmen wish to live
37.
in the time it took
for my mind to fly
the earth the sea
the wind the sky
fleeting thoughts of
clouds had wrought
pictures formed in the mind
angels borne on wings on high
doors are closed
and up ahead
a sign the twilight zone
I think it said
wonder in the air as
people forever avoid their fears
38. A Change in Pace
It was often thought
that man would never change
and as time passed
he remained the same
then one day it happened
he hooked down some acid
in his brain thoughts broke up
he sure seemed blasted
and then it hit him
then and there
no need to think
or despair
the next day he’d forgotten it
but the change occurred
from this day on
he was absurd
though they thought he’d passed the edge
a song of beauty flew through his head
he (k)new at once sure as day
that he certainly would never be dead
he had gained in a strange way
the illumination of the day
39. Beautiful Goddess
In my eyes I have seen you
Standing beautiful
hair dusky and soft
vastness in sea green eyes
your lips they speak
without sound trembling and sensuous
In my eyes I have seen you
Standing beautiful
sultry legs living content
your breasts round and amorous
buttocks hinting seduction oversubtle
In my eyes I have seen you
Standing beautiful
beatific self
glowing understanding
love your nature
your body your soul
In my eyes I have seen you
Beautiful Goddess
40.
thoughts of mediocrity;
crying through my mind
angels weeping nevermore
while children run amok
ancient history wanders
in and out of time
days of yore
on timeless shore
beaconing for all
to find
41. Too Haiku
sounds move
tobacco aside
we travel
jagged rocks
the trees climb
open road
42.
in ages past in dimensions
lost throughout the
continuum, a group of
mercenaries
disappeared and were never seen
until yesterday in
time square time
loop 34
then they again
vanished into the cool thin air
43.
the human race super-beings;
from beyond the continuum,
the milieu, eons lost, ages seen
return again to the infinite dream
painted rooms, endless paths
a door of light
ancient rite
colors flare
I awake
44.
all the old people who laughed were scared
in plain sight of
the children
I didn’t see
how it pained me that I knew and felt
back against the wall
he didn’t see me I knew
in control
the blade
he screams
DO NOT STOP HIM!
chaoschaoschaoschaosdiscontinuity
I awake
cool air
water falling
darkness
no blindness
fear anger hate
calm
45.
on the cool spring day in early may you sit writing
empathizing suffering of the perturbations of universe
the intensity of act and feeling is such that is almost
more than thou can bear in this dazed state of mind
holier ground thou could never walk upon than the ground
of which the foundation was built
and now in the everlasting joy that is life thou sit
again in the tired stillness a depraved madman turning
slowly on the wheel
46.
I find myself
and then realize that
I am thinking of you
and I smile
I am content
and dream of you
and laugh
with the joy I feel
and the elation
knowing you gives me
I feel at last
strong and serene
I have known you
a thousand lifetimes
and each is greater
than the last
47. First You Dream
First you dream
and with dreams
comes serenity
a peace that
tumbles down out of
the air as though
it were a feather
First you dream
and this dream
seems so very real
my touch, the color
of the flowers
flowing like the
waters of a stream
First you dream
your eyes open wide
wonder and joy
such as you never felt
you feel more
alive and happy
you will live forever
48.
wot is this…
oh I don’t know…
are you sure…
no…
oh I know it’s…
Balder the brave
WHO?
BALDER THE BRAVE
who…?
I said BALDER THE BRAVE!!
BANG!
OUCH
what did you do
that for?
I…um…well heck
did it hurt. I don’t know.
no you missed
but my ears are
RINGING
INGING
NGING
GING
ING
NG
G
how about them
RED SOX…
yeah how about
them
49.
narcissus…
narcissus…
surely you dream
you are unreal
meager in you desires
willing all, gaining none
you dream narcissus
wake up, all is well
50.
punk rock images
grinding lights burn
my eyes
death gleams a faint light
I see forever and am in
suspended annihilation
51.
poignantly I recalled
how my friends Jeff
had been strange smiling
with untold humor and
I laughed knowingly unaware
of the funniness
52.
the people
Tim calls them boarders
others call them sk8ers
53.
animus and anima
do they motivate you
do you live for moon and sun
life has just begun
54.
all women have within
a goddess
I see her in you and
you in her
glowing with the light
of undiminishable beauty
in the way you smile
divinity reflected in
your eyes deep
your voice melodic
movements flow
and greet each
moment with poetry
55.
arcane projections passing quantum shores
infinite angels upon the head of a sin
freedom to obey
black on white damning to be saved
in my fever my will be staved
and I will create myself too spontaneously
out of what?
I come to live
56.
She grows distant again
as if the end had come
does she not know
the pain I feel
the joy
the energy
does she care
that I know what
These things
I speak of and their meaning
what of them?
Gladly I would give
for things to be as they are and yet
I feel a certain youthful joy
at the changing of times
O will she ever return
to the infinite dream, the play of which
we all have leading roles
Would not the title, though used already
A Divine Comedy be appropriate?
(NO!)
How can this be on this beautiful
spring day
still early in may
what has been wrought
has nothing come to naught?
57. The Zero-Fool-Hero
when was a time
I stood among the gods
terminating in my fall
grace around me
dropping from the
firmament
earth I come
boldly awake
where I began
I was just a hero
lost in time
missing in space
seeing all possibilities
strings of light
electric
Irish fae of
Oberon’s doom
sleeping
in my dreams
a zero-fool is me
judge what I can
by what I cannot see
mana from hell
and soma hissing
madness
urban terror
beleaguered soul
in a street of despair
at a journeys end
I haven’t got a prayer
or karma to spend
in this return
nether regions excite
energy
and I see around me
again and always timeless
heroes and goddesses
damn fool-heroes
are the ones
that are lost
for all eternity
no chance to be
saved
nor do they
need/want to be
damn fool-heroes
always get the girl
58.
dead enough
I awoke to find
myself
and what lost
soul was I alone
and crying;
what hell is this
I have put myself into
my love
I am saddened and
unable to lift myself
above this despair
I will not give up!
I yell I cannot
there are others
weaker than even I
the weakest
I have no power
at all yet must find
in a lonely place
what I need for
them not but a
flicker of light
would do a spark
for life.
59.
My immortal soul was caught
a goddess I had found
She was my fire and light
that burned so strong
My heart cries out to her
Does she hear I think
I sit and walk and in
my thought she rests
Now have I found
My love for her that
does yearn filled with
Sorrow on my wake
a thirst for her
I cannot slake
I have swallowed the drink
and found in a stranger, a goddess
60.
Oh goddess look to me
see me
look into my eyes and see
my soul
I have inside a fire fierce
A sword that through
my heart did pierce
Come to me
in your dreams
Across the desert I shall
walk and climb the mountains
of the sun
Rains upon me fall and yet
I do not stop
My love for you
I cannot numb
61.
slackness attack
neurotransmitters opined
my anger and confusion
are a delusion
a spirit that sores
shall do so no more
and in spiraled fates
intertwined too late
a compromise to be borne
62.
repentacle and behaved
she counted the days
and my eyes were scratched back in
for weeks on to years
I followed not fear
for I had committed no sin
63.
see my love in my eyes that have seen you
my soul ablaze with life
I look to you gentle moon
and see you dark distant across calm waters
I want to give you my light
so that your soul to will blaze with the joy
and energy of life
you turn on your path and wander away
and I wonder at your mystery that I
never understand
and still my love shines for you
awaiting your return on the path you took
64.
I awake from deepest slumber
suddenly alone, I think
where is my love
the child of the moon that
I once knew
she has gone
oh will she ever return,
with her deep dark eyes
and starlight hair
to hear her laughter thrills
and lights a blaze within me
to hear her sweet voice
that kills my woe
the stars I would gladly give
65.
Ancient mystery
waking days
No words can speak
the things I say
Wandering minds
still caress
Lost in time
they meet no less
66. Kitcat Cool
kitkat c o o l
mellow hep jazz
lighting a dart the match
sets her face a glow
b e a u t I f u l
cold winter night
and the lion foot tub
the crazy skyline dance
caffeine jingle tingles the heart
like an electric jolt
feeling the buzz of love
67. back street
back street casbah
heart string pull
leaning against the trashcans
cigarette dangles from his lip
he waits
watching
an old man lurches past
shuffling
his hollow eyes looking
not seeing
he waits and watches
the fog begins to roll
hands shoved in his pockets
against the cold
across the street he sees her
dark hair tangled in the wind
s m o o t h l y
she turns and watches him
smiling
bright eyes
his heart leaps
acceleration
the beat humming
thrumming
c r a z y cat
68.
dim night streetlight glare
wallowing in the muck of the earth
and wondering
have we done all we can do
and wondering
where are we now
69. old mother earth (or terra non grata)
I walked in arcane days
again I tread this earth
oh mother of life
what has been done
to you.
You have given them life
and yet they rape you
incessantly greedy
crawling bugs adulterate
And what do they give in return.
70.
I walked down from desolation
into the pit, fire burned my skin
ashes blinded my eyes, I walked
Lost without my heart, I had only
my soul.
71.
Walking on a beach at night
Gliding past the moon
I looked and saw a bird in flight
Sailing to the deep unknown
I wander far in rhyme
for my only love
in the sands of time
she is my vision of night
my eyes are as fire
as I watch the skies
72.
In a great hall;,
Called a shopping mall,
I walked;
Past a stand,
Selling cheese and ham,
Saw some toys,
They brought me joys,
And then I saw this girl,
Such a thrill;
Heard her voice,
My heart did pound,
At that sound,
For she was smiling at me.
73.
I am standing on an old gravel road
in the desert and overhead
I see the clouds rolling, roiling
a thunder storm
incredible in it’s intensity
lightning flashing illuminating my mind
pure insight pure consciousness, FLASH
I feel my soul bursting forth
I feel your soul surround me and through me
throughout the very fiber of being
perceiving all things I am all things
I am many leagues from you
I know this is your storm your mind boiling
over the mountains blocking the sun from Terra
there is light and stillness unmoving
amidst electric current
charged air powerful and sharp
torrential down pouring surrounds
and calmness descends upon me
out from the periphery they come
spirits, angels or demons
they are coming for me
they are coming for you
I run not from fear
I run leading them away
from you, from life
a cold light surrounds me
the fire in my heart burning
I look back
they are scarcely a few yards behind
Thunder strikes and fear they do
the demons that wish to possess you
I turn and You are near and strong I feel
I strike upon the demons
Smite them down to never hurt you
I turn and see you are standing atop the mountain
tempest around you I run to you to speak of my love
and the strength you have given me
I am at the foot of the mountain
I begin to ascend hoping to reach the storm
hoping to reach you
74.
Rhythm moves
I trust
blurring burning
it was not real
it was not more
I was unsure
I trust
it was unreal
how many times
drenched in gold
before I go
I took my chance
slipped though the night
76. nocturne
I awake in the night
a tapping at the sill
light from beyond the window
I arise and seek
what strange thing knocks
and wakens my sleeping brow
I peer past the drape
and see the white woman
she beckons me forth
her call I cannot resist
a siren in my mind
nocturne
77.
the ancient city filled with glass gleamed from afar
this is the home of old souls and gentle children
I am led there by a star
78.
when was a time
the humans decreed
to follow a path of insanity
through lost places
long forgot
they travelled in need
not knowing where
or whence they had come
they walked on mired and stuck
(do I think they were fucked?)
the answers were there
for all to see
yet none of them looked
else they looked toward me
the answers I saw
brightly shining as the sun
on a cloudless day
“What do you seek”
I received to reply
staring blankly upon the sky
this race of beings
ignoring their mind.
79.
I can remember
we were lovers
I held you in my arms
help me to know
help me to love
help me to know what it’s like
to be a boy to be a man
80.
you won’t fool
the children of the evolution
they know more than
can be known
superbright child
star of the night
son of the day
scream and shout
you won’t fool the children
81.
I
I am strong, strong as the wind
blowing cold through the winter night
My soul is fiery passion
burning deep inside
molten iron my will
steely nerve pervades me
sadness consuming my life
is the no compassion
I am strong, strong as the sun
burning down through the heavens
my spirit electric
ecstatically playing on the wire
quantum my imagination
nature’s skin surrounds me
there is compassion
II
She is there at times
My heart she stole never to return
She is joy for this one
heaven forgive me for I know not what to do
Her beauty consumed me, her laughter ensnared me
oh the gods are cruel
to play such a joke upon me
their instrument of amusement
To make her my muse
III
In times I listen to the still beating heart
Far off in the distance
I know, it is there
waiting, patiently
under deep moonlight waters
a fire burning low
steady and pale
waiting for the moon itself
the sun awoke roaring intensity
on the wrong side of the day
82.
Exercise I
Not that it is old but we need something new;.
Neophilic tendencies pervade our reality.
Cutting new dimension across or minds.
Opening vistas of the imagination, wild and untamed.
Fractional and wholly changing the integers of our thoughts.
The media overwhelms and the unprepared fall to the wayside.
A battle is being fought.
We cannot see the whole of the battle plain yet we see the chaos in our midst.
The general is a fool, and knowing his folly perseveres.
Your living room has become a strategic vantage point for the rampant commercialism.
Whole economies depend on your choice.
Five Rings and the Art of War.
Master of you own destiny.
Fundamentally Christianity is dead.
Buddhism was for the dying.
Christ bit off more than he could chew but he swallowed anyway.
Brahma the great bull bends his back under the weight.
Buddha has returned to fulfill no destiny.
The one in the hall has been burned to ashes and out of it arises the television.
Electronic beams create a new reality.
Microchips filter the universal way.
Time to play.
To play what?
The vastness of the mind is about to be ripped open allowing all to see.
Life begot death, but death begot life.
We’re not in it to lose.
Are we to win?
Study carefully.
Turing invented a test of intelligence.
Can you pass it?
Can you pass the Turing test?
Are you a human or an animal?
Can you be conscious of your own thoughts yet think without thinking?
Unlimited the universe.
The world our oyster.
Running through.
All looking for something they don’t know.
Exercise II
Looking back is just reflection.
A mirror of the present.
The future anonymous in it’s ambiguity.
The is no love in the media.
Compassion has fallen away.
We look on suffering and death with no feeling.
The Hindenberg burned for your sins.
The onlookers died a thousand deaths.
The Titanic impaled upon the iceberg.
Mind’s like brick walls, a hundred stories high, a hundred feet think.
Nothing gets in or out.
Exercise III
Are you ready to take a stand?
Grab life by it’s reigns.
Run it to full speed and then let go and enjoy the ride.
Don’t make me nervous.
83.
Icarus wandered
Down in the underground
He hates his suffering
His human condition
He lives with lying
And there’s nothing
He must get something
Got to have a home again
Got to get rid of suffering
The music beats though his body
Igniting
Understanding his destiny
Up and down the people around you move
The drug coursing through his body
Glorious
Re-igniting
He’s been told to make you understand
Wings of forever here and far
Safe on the boulevard
Pain was not mean to the old
Hell breaks loose from the cage that contains it
You cannot escape the media
84. A poem about tribe
tribe is my posse
if you’re bi or an Aussie
lived through a quake
or made some mistake
talk about sex
really hate your ex
dyed your hair white
got tattooed late last night
you’re always at home
even if you wrote this lame poem
my homegrrlz and boys
bring me great joys
and I don’t ever feel I’m alone
85. East and West
East goes east and West goes west
across the high desert plain
ninety miles per hour
I drive and fly through the sky
of the high desert plain
looking for the dry place
someone calls their home
out on the high desert plain
past cistern well and cactus plants
the desert heat brings a mystical trance
up on the high desert plain
rain comes from the West
thunder echoes from the East
on the dark desert plain
and West ain’t East
the two never meet
out on the lonely roads
of the vast high desert plain
86.
mountain I see you
looming over me
watching me helplessly climbing
like an ant upon a mound
the bones of the Earth you are
old mother Earth
timeless never expiring
always leering peering
at the minuscule beings upon
your flesh
and what beneath you grows
in darkness never lit
laboring to give birth
to life yet unseen
and unknown and unknowing
in the depths
87. Cassady Knew Time
Time
Cassady knew time
Time again and after
he knew time
I know time
I don’t know Cassady
I know the now
the who, the new, the what
the where, the wait and the why
Time
I never knew Cassady
88. I never told you
met in a room dark with smoke
snow outside and cold
whirling around heat in the heart
beat in the heart
warming against the old
death overtakes the life too swift
and eternity hangs on the head of a pin
cold in death return from the pit
of ultimate despair
and the beat revives from deep inside
fiery life jazz bop heart
stirs the soul again
love and life resound with YES!
and GO! and JOY!
89. Light One
karma took a dive in the ring of life today
some aesthetic guessing game
I reaching, with my beat heart felt deep inside,
to see a girl, questioning answers
and look deeply into my eyes, see you a woman
frightened, not afraid to fear
of dying, newly awake, dying to live
I wish for a tonic, though there is none,
to make me a Hero and (gulp gulp swallow)
look into your green eyes, deep beyond deep
and the SKY is GONE!
light pouring from you,
only lovers shed sunlight,
and sing my song,
summers, autumns, springs, winters,
unborn, smiling Girl, only the NEW is TRUE
when we live for the Sun
my way lost then found again
Girl you (see) a red rose blooming and timeless,
you will always exist in time,
more than a dying life and not living dead,
karma is (un)born out of ten-thousand ways,
you travel the Way,
Girl you are ahead of me, do you doubt it?
by human-nature Girl, you assert by you will,
you are (a goddess of course) a lover
and I (by my will),
a stumbling screaming crazy and mad for
life, Dharma-bum, hero-fool dreaming,
feeling to live and dying to feel
as I try to attain that which I never,
as love is daring the impossible
and there is beauty and life
I opened my eyes and was shot out
of madness into (is life an escape?)
a dream (from reality or to it)
love is attaining the impossible
90. Light Two
all we ever wanted (not least being less)
was
(not much being most) everything
91. Light Three
there is a place that isn’t place
and I find you there
with your green eyes and strong mind
there is a time that isn’t time
and then I see you
and with your soul, there is infinite
there is a dream that isn’t dream
we share it together
and though we don’t know and can’t understand
there is a peace
spread across this land
92. Light Four
I chase my dreams
and give in realizing
that it may be impossible
yet still I try for is
that not the meaning of life
life and love and is that not
all there is to live for
I call forth my cry
is LIFE that is my
purpose to love and
I am filled with the passionate
fires it gives me emanating
from my heart it comes
flowing as fire from the sky
93. Dark One
I cannot see with my eyes torn out
nerve ends dangling from black sockets
blood steaming on my face and neck
I reach out and I feel you
I want you for dinner
put out the light and we will eat
grab my hand as I bite
deeply into your soft skin
94. Dark Two
my MIND!
take the knife I don’t want
I have no control
driving, pulsing, anger, psychotic reactions
to your fucking dogma, you eaters of shit
where is power that all mongers know
my spirit tells me I am the one
and you look into the black
burning pits of my eyes
95. Dark Three
there is no other way, stop yourself
you fucking whores, you sell you minds
in the name of power
in here it is unlimited
but you sell your bodies, fucking shit
do something!
seething reptilian hind brains
creeping from inside
KILL you think, you think?
eating your brethren, feeling the guilt? nah
you are not even mammals
it’s all colors to you
get fucking totaled
and maybe it’ll be too late
96. Dark Four
I see inside
from four dimensional space
where the right angles are all wrong
and left is up
and down is forward
I hear the scream of
untold lies, horrors without conceptions
ectoplasm of the falling slugs
lapping the shores of consciousness
dream if you want
I can see it now
it isn’t too late masters
of infinite with name of legion
sick with putrid dogma
of three dimensions
97. Dark Five
I cannot think the world closes in
and fear overtakes me
I am lost in a desert dry
humorous region without life
I despair, I am despair
there is no one
I am alone, I alone
in love and hate
and to wash away my thoughts
where the sky is met by the void
98. Imagination runs wild
I’m imagining us
standing in front of the jazzmen
blowing their tops
us yelling GO! and BLOW man BLOW!
I’m imagining us
blissing to the infinite sorrow of the horn
bass beat rippling though our bodies
electrifying our souls
I’m imagining us
walking down fog enshrouded streets
of dawn, past old bums
living their lives in transient dreams
I’m imagining us
hurling down back roads and going
everywhere flying past cars
with unknown drivers at their wheels
I’m imagining us
late at night sitting in candle lit room
overstuffed chair and me reading to you
and you digging my voice
I’m imagining us
exploring so many places
and looking for cool kicks
among the Earth’s faces
99. This is not hell —
Feel the heat around you start
Saturating through your skin
Deep into the blood of your heart
And now you wonder what was the sin
Air so humid, yet cloudless skies
So still no breeze around you blows
Boiling air that tells no lies
More dangerous than the northern snows
And thought neglects as you sweat
The body’s waters meet the air
Until the time when we have met
In so cool and restful lair
100.
Enough of my idiocy
This samsara burning my soul
It stops lest it devours me
And deters me from my goal
Desire for the transient
The illusion on this road
Life so real and ambient
Love my only load
So into life giving bliss
No mind blind worry you see
Life the eternal first kiss
An end to the idiocy of me